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15-year-old mom puts baby up for adoption and 35 years later he says he’s standing behind her.

Stacey Faix was only 15 when she got pregnant. Unwilling or equipped to be a mother, she made the painstaking decision to place the newborn baby boy for adoption. Stacey said goodbye without ever getting to hold him.

The birth records of the baby eventually got lost in a flood. In November 2017, a new law went into effect that would change everything for Stacey, but she did not know it at the time. This policy allowed adoptees to obtain birth certificates containing the names of their original birth parents.

The following year, Stacey arrived at the Pittsburgh Half Marathon. She was there to run alongside her fellow members of Team Red, White, and Blue, a social organization that supports veterans.

Before the marathon kicked off, as Stacey and her family stood at the starting line, she was handed a mysterious handwritten letter.

“It’s been 13,075 days since you last saw me,” it read. “I didn’t want to make you wait for one more.”

In the tear-jerking clip, watch the moment Stacey realizes just who is standing right behind her, 35 years later.

Tells us what you thought of this wonderful story!

Be with someone who listens to you.

Be with someone who is proud of you, someone you can laugh with, someone who listens to you, understands you, who treats you well and makes you a priority. ~Brigitte Nicole

One Day, You’ll Be The Best Thing To Ever Happen To Someone

It may not be today. It might not even be next week, month, or year. Someday, you’re going to be the best part of somebody’s life. You are going to be the reason why that person is going to believe in the value of life and love again. You are going to be the reason why that person is going to look at life from a fresh new lens; from a completely different perspective. You are going to be this person’s motivation to pursue greatness and success in life.

You’ll Be Someone’s Reason To Be Thankful

Frowning and tears are now smiles and laughter for someone, and it’s you that spurred the transformation. One day, you will only bring happiness, joy, and amazement to someone’s life. You’ll be the reason that they can look at the fountain of life and suddenly see it completely full, not just half full or half empty. With you in their world, they will realize that there is always something to be grateful for, beauty to be found, and wonders to be explored.

You’ll Be Someone’s Motivation

One day, someone cannot imagine life without you. You motivate them to be the best and the truest version of themselves. They won’t be dependent upon you, though. Instead, it will be you that motivates them to find their own unique voice and sense of self. They will simply feel safe and secure knowing they can stay true to themselves without risking the happiness they’ve found with you.

You’ll Be Someone’s Hope

One day, you’ll be someone’s meaning behind hope. In a world full of dark corners and deceptive shadows, you will be light of clarity that illuminates their world. They’ll likely have had a long road to you, and it may be scattered with a past of setbacks, sadness, aloneness, and silence. You will be the one to sweep the road ahead so that they can open up to you, trust, and get back the smile they thought they had long ago lost.

With you, they can see that they are capable of everything and anything they set their mind to achieve. The life they once thought out of reach will now be within reaching distance. Your presence will awaken their flame of desire for life and all its pursuits, and your inspiration will inspire them to do things far greater than they ever thought possible.

You’ll Be Someone’s Security

Now that you are in their pond, they will feel like the biggest fish in the biggest pond, not the smallest fish in the smallest pond. You relieve their insecurities and fears and help them find the confidence that’s evaded them for so long. One day, just be yourself to remind someone else that they’re enough, too. However, they want to take risks and pursue their wildest dreams because they know you will stand by their side, keeping pace, holding their hand, and never giving up on them.

You’ll Be Someone’s Everything

One day, you will be someone’s priority. Life as they know it will be unimaginable without you. You will be the center, beginning, and end of their universe. Anything they were too afraid to hope for in a partner exists within you. You’ll be the epitome of the complete package as their friend, lover, partner, confidante, and ally. Although perfect may not exist, you are the most perfect thing they can meet in life. Even your greatest flaw will become someone’s notion of the most perfect imperfection.

You’ll Be Someone’s Only Choice

One day, you’ll be someone’s reason to stop foraging and wandering. They won’t see it as settling down or settling for the best option; they’ll see you as their one and only choice. Any fear of commitment and doubts of love being eternal they’ve had in the past have vanished completely thanks to you entering their life. You’ve made them a believer, and you’ve given them the courage and will to stay whether times are easy or difficult.

You’ll Be Someone’s Clarity

One day, everything will be clear, unquestionable, and completely natural. You’ll understand why all the other past intimate relationships never panned out. You’ll understand what that something was that always felt like it was missing, ajar, or forced. You will realize that all the heartbreaks, disappointments and sadness of the past have prepared you for this very moment of ‘one day.’

The clarity will be intense as you realize you were always destined for something more and have finally found the completeness of it, and it will be even more intense when you realize you’ve provided this same clarity to another human being. All of the other moments in life for the two of you were merely a set of steps leading you to an apex – your ‘one day.’

Source: apost.com

Losing A Parent Affects Us Forever — No Matter How Old We Are

Studies show losing a parent has a lifelong, permanent psychological effect on humans of all ages

The trauma of losing a parent has profound effects on us all, regardless of our age. Grief is so immeasurable that there are studies that show the death of our father or mother can actually change the chemistry of our brain and have lasting physical effects, too. Those changes can become pathological.

The way our brains processes grief is deep and complex. Research shows that the areas of our brain that process grief, the posterior cingulate cortex, frontal cortex, and cerebellum are the same regions that retrieve memories and dwell on the past.

They’re also the same regions of the brain that regulate our sleep and appetites. This explains why, when we’re in a profound state of grief or depression, many people experience an increase in sleep, insomnia, or major differences in our appetite.

The loss of a parent, whether anticipated or suddenly tragic, leads to different levels and timetables of grief. Losing a parent at a younger age is usually a sudden loss that can lead to younger children and adults experiencing lengthy denial and anger phases of grief.

Having time to prepare and accept the loss of a parent when a death is anticipated, offers the opportunity to say goodbye and find a good support system. This may be why other studies show that younger adults are more deeply affected by parental loss.

The loss of a parent can increase the risk of long-term emotional and mental health issues like depression, anxiety, etc. Losing a parent as a child only increases these odds, and about one in 20 children aged 15 and younger have suffered the loss of one or both parents.

Many of us have complex relationships with our parents – and some of us have none. The result of unresolved emotions such as anger and resentment also has a lasting effect on our psyche as well. The death of a parent means there is no hope of reconciliation or having your feelings validated.

The amount and intensity of grief experienced would depend on a few things, like the following:

1. Equation shared with the parent

2. Psychological bent of mind

3. Previous experience with grief

4. Cause of death

To explore this issue further, a survey was conducted in the 1970s with about 11,000 people – some orphans, some from disturbed homes and some from happy families. It was observed that the orphans grew up with a sense of incompleteness and the firm belief that life will never be as they wish, which is why they tend to be smokers.

It was found that orphans are more likely to suffer from mental illness. Another study was conducted from the point of view of children. It was noticed that the death of a parent has effects lasting as long as 70 years, and the child growing up without strong communication skills or a stable belief system within themselves. It should be noted that the death of a particular parent affects girls and boys differently. Boys tend to take their father’s death hard, and for girls, it’s their mother.

There has been a fair amount of brain imaging involved in this research and even though it is a highly technical approach to a very emotional thing, it provides valuable insight. It shows that grief affects the posterior cortex, frontal cortex, and the cerebellum. This provides sufficient explanation for the physical discomfort and issues when faced by grief, which includes nausea, loss of appetite, dizziness and so on.

When discussing grief, it would be remiss to not mention the 5 stage breakdown.

The first stage is denial, where the person in the face of grief due to some disaster refuses to accept that the said event has taken place at all.

The second stage is anger, where they hold others responsible for what happened and tends to be violent.

The following stage is bargaining– they try to make deals with whoever is watching upon us to reverse the situation for something in return.

The fourth stage is depression, where the person goes through extreme sadness and the final stage is acceptance, where they accept whatever has happened as it is and seeks to find peace with it.

There are a few ways to deal with grief and sadness and they will be listed below.

1. Interventions: Sometimes people refuse to accept help or even recognize their situation. In those cases, people close to the sufferer can arrange an intervention. It reminds the person that they are loved and cared for.

2. Counseling: Sometimes one needs professional help and there is nothing with that. You deserve to be happy.

3. Support groups: Sharing your problems with people going through the same issues helps more than one can possibly imagine. Talking about your grief helps in making peace with it.

4. Medication: People often attach a sort of taboo to medication, but there is nothing wrong with it.

5. Socialization: Being around people helps serotonin levels greatly. The love of friends and family has an uplifting effect on everyone.

6. Self-care: One has to take care of their own self at one point or the other. At the end of the day, you are the only person who understands you the best.

7. Spiritual healing: Spirituality is always a source of comfort for a large number of people.

When it comes to the death of a parent, there is no such thing as “getting over it.” No matter  what type of relationship you had with them or what kind of parent they were. It changes us deeply and permanently – mentally, physically and emotionally – for the rest of our lives.

Source: consciousreminder.com

Step back in time.

Wouldn’t Vou Love to Step Back in Time and Take a Walk With Your Mama?

22 Things Every Mother And Daughter Should Do Together At Least Once

Every mother-daughter relationship is different.

You may have survived the rollercoaster teenage years to realize you’ve come out of it closer than ever. She is literally your favorite person to spend time with and knows you better than anyone.

Or maybe you’re looking for a chance to reconnect – or maybe you’re just a new mom with a bored toddler on her hands.

No matter the status of your relationship, we have a bucket list of memory-making adventures for all of Y’all!

As Susan Merrill, mother, and founder of Family First’s motherhood program iMOM, put it:

“Time is a vapor, it just floats away from us. I need to make moments happen with my girls, but it takes really careful planning because they are busy and living in different cities. I realized that I needed a bucket list to make sure I captured some moments with my kids.

It’s a list with no age limit and no deadline. Personalize it to fit your own interests and your girls’ ages. Just remember: It’s not about how many items you cross off, but rather that you complete them together.”

A List of Mother-Daughter Bucket List Ideas

We hope this list helps strengthen the relationship you have with your daughter and fills you both with joy.

Is there a better way to show your daughter that you love and appreciate her and want to share all the wisdom you’ve picked up along the way than give her your presence?

We hope this list will strengthen the relationship you have with your daughter and make you happy.

Note: These ideas came from Susan Merrill, Deborah Hutton, and Easy Living Mom. (1,2,3)

1. Create a family recipe (which could turn into a family cookbook)

2. Read a book together

3. See a Broadway play

4. Go on a road trip

5. Organize a mother-daughter photo shoot (maybe even invite grandma)

6. Make and bury a time capsule

7. Complete a physical challenge (e.g., a hike, marathon, or charity run)

8. Compose a list of qualities she should look for in a man

9. Volunteer with an organization you’re both passionate about

10. Create a holiday tradition (e.g., pumpkin picking or Christmas tree hunting)

11. Plant a garden with your favorite flowers

12. Start a hobby together (e.g., jewelry making or pottery)

13. Have a classic movie marathon

14. Redecorate your daughter’s room

15. Get up early to catch a sunrise

16. Go out and do karaoke

17. Get a free makeover at a department store

18. Visit your town or city’s local museums and/or galleries

19. Have a spa weekend

20. Do something only your daughter has always wanted to do (and vice versa)

21. Cook a surprise dinner for the men in your life

22. Look at baby pictures together

Don’t let your list stop there! What makes this mother-daughter bucket list so awesome is that it’s completely customizable.

This is merely a springboard for all the things you’ve always wanted to do with your daughter – and we hope you take this and run with it.

You won’t regret it for a second!

Source: theheartysoul.com

People who love you.

You will be “too much” for some people. Too loud, too soft. Too this, too that. But you will always be perfect for the people who love you.

One Day, You’ll Be The Best Thing To Ever Happen To Someone

It may not be today. It might not even be next week, month, or year. Someday, you’re going to be the best part of somebody’s life. You are going to be the reason why that person is going to believe in the value of life and love again. You are going to be the reason why that person is going to look at life from a fresh new lens; from a completely different perspective. You are going to be this person’s motivation to pursue greatness and success in life.

You’ll Be Someone’s Reason To Be Thankful

Frowning and tears are now smiles and laughter for someone, and it’s you that spurred the transformation. One day, you will only bring happiness, joy, and amazement to someone’s life. You’ll be the reason that they can look at the fountain of life and suddenly see it completely full, not just half full or half empty. With you in their world, they will realize that there is always something to be grateful for, beauty to be found, and wonders to be explored.

You’ll Be Someone’s Motivation

One day, someone cannot imagine life without you. You motivate them to be the best and the truest version of themselves. They won’t be dependent upon you, though. Instead, it will be you that motivates them to find their own unique voice and sense of self. They will simply feel safe and secure knowing they can stay true to themselves without risking the happiness they’ve found with you.

You’ll Be Someone’s Hope

One day, you’ll be someone’s meaning behind hope. In a world full of dark corners and deceptive shadows, you will be light of clarity that illuminates their world. They’ll likely have had a long road to you, and it may be scattered with a past of setbacks, sadness, aloneness, and silence. You will be the one to sweep the road ahead so that they can open up to you, trust, and get back the smile they thought they had long ago lost.

With you, they can see that they are capable of everything and anything they set their mind to achieve. The life they once thought out of reach will now be within reaching distance. Your presence will awaken their flame of desire for life and all its pursuits, and your inspiration will inspire them to do things far greater than they ever thought possible.

You’ll Be Someone’s Security

Now that you are in their pond, they will feel like the biggest fish in the biggest pond, not the smallest fish in the smallest pond. You relieve their insecurities and fears and help them find the confidence that’s evaded them for so long. One day, just be yourself to remind someone else that they’re enough, too. However, they want to take risks and pursue their wildest dreams because they know you will stand by their side, keeping pace, holding their hand, and never giving up on them.

You’ll Be Someone’s Everything

One day, you will be someone’s priority. Life as they know it will be unimaginable without you. You will be the center, beginning, and end of their universe. Anything they were too afraid to hope for in a partner exists within you. You’ll be the epitome of the complete package as their friend, lover, partner, confidante, and ally. Although perfect may not exist, you are the most perfect thing they can meet in life. Even your greatest flaw will become someone’s notion of the most perfect imperfection.

You’ll Be Someone’s Only Choice

One day, you’ll be someone’s reason to stop foraging and wandering. They won’t see it as settling down or settling for the best option; they’ll see you as their one and only choice. Any fear of commitment and doubts of love being eternal they’ve had in the past have vanished completely thanks to you entering their life. You’ve made them a believer, and you’ve given them the courage and will to stay whether times are easy or difficult.

You’ll Be Someone’s Clarity

One day, everything will be clear, unquestionable, and completely natural. You’ll understand why all the other past intimate relationships never panned out. You’ll understand what that something was that always felt like it was missing, ajar, or forced. You will realize that all the heartbreaks, disappointments and sadness of the past have prepared you for this very moment of ‘one day.’

The clarity will be intense as you realize you were always destined for something more and have finally found the completeness of it, and it will be even more intense when you realize you’ve provided this same clarity to another human being. All of the other moments in life for the two of you were merely a set of steps leading you to an apex – your ‘one day.’

Source: apost.com

Be careful.

Be careful who you open up to. Only a few people actually care, the rest just want to have something to gossip about.

5 Signs You Are Being Taken Advantage Of

Many of us tend to realize we are being taken advantage of after it’s too late. The other person used us and left us behind. We often miss the signs, because we do not really want to see them. We do not want to believe that someone we call a friend, partner, colleague or family member is capable of doing it. But people who are looking to take advantage of you often show a few simple signs.

Branding and career expert Wendi Weiner challenges those who may feel undervalued to speak up… stat! “Standing up for yourself shows empowerment and self-respect. If someone is continuously taking advantage of you, then they aren’t showing you the respect that is due and owing. You then become a doormat to the person and their expectation is they can always walk all over you,” she explains.

Here are five signs you are being taken advantage of:

1. They Don’t Honor Their Commitments

A real sign that someone is taking you for granted is that they do not respect their commitments to you. When the two of you have plans, it does not bother them one bit to cancel or stand you up. If they need anything from you, you can be sure they’ll show up. But if they do not get anything from this arrangement, they don’t mind breaking promises.

2. The Conversations Are One-Sided

You can tell if someone is really interested in you by paying attention to whether or not they listen to you. A person who is trying to take advantage of you is often eager to talk about themselves, complain about their situation and seek your sympathy. But when it’s your turn to talk, they aren’t interested in anything you have to say.

3. They Show A Lack Of Empathy

When you are with someone who does not really care about you, you’ll eventually start to notice. They will take what they need, but that’s as far as the relationship will go. They are not interested in talking to you or spending time with you. They do not want to be an ear to listen to or a shoulder to cry on and they will not give you any emotional support.

4. They Are Always Gone

Someone who is not interested in a real relationship with you won’t make it a priority to be there for you when you need them. They’ll show up when there’s something they want from you. But when you’re in need, they are nowhere to be found.

5. They Don’t Trust You

An unwarranted lack of trust toward you when you haven’t done anything wrong is often a sign that the other person is being dishonest. They won’t trust you, because they know that they aren’t being trustworthy. They are there to use you for their own personal gain, then discard you.

Source: davidwolfe.com

Cousins are ready-made friends.

COUSINS are Ready-Made Friends for Life that will Love you Forever. Treasure them. ❤

My Brother May Not Always Be at My Side, But He is Always In My Heart

When you were growing up, did your brother greet you with a black eye or a hug? Maybe you have a contentious relationship with your brother, or maybe it’s the most wonderful, loving relationship in the world–or maybe it’s both.

These brother quotes come from authors, thinkers, and celebrities sharing their feelings about their own siblings. When you read these quotes about brothers, you may laugh or cry, and you will probably find quite a few that remind you of your own brothers.

1. “Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero.” – Marc Brown

2. “There’s no other love like the love for a brother. There’s no other love like the love from a brother.”

3. “Brothers are what best friends can never be.”

4. “What strange creatures brothers are!” – Jane Austen

5. “We came into the world like brother and brother; And now let’s go hand in hand, not one before another.” – William Shakespeare

6. “God blesses him who helps his brother.” – Abu Bakr

7. My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, “You’re tearing up the grass”. “We’re not raising grass,” Dad would reply. “We’re raising boys”. Harmon Killebrew

8. Your brother is always the first male friend you will have in your life. Ritu Ghatourey

9. When your son grows up, become his brother. Arabic proverb Click to tweet

10. True brothers are never blood-related. But born of the spirit. Lailah Gifty Akita Click to tweet

11. Our brothers and sisters are there with us from the dawn of our personal stories to the inevitable dusk. Susan Scarf Merrell

Integrity.

When you are no longer friends with someone, respect the secrets they shared with you. It’s called Integrity…

5 Things You Should Always Keep To Yourself

It is not advisable to tell every detail of your life to everyone. Sometimes a listening ear becomes a running mouth. Keep your secrets for yourself. Discussing your personal information with everyone, especially sensitive topics, usually leads to disappointment.

HERE ARE FIVE IMPORTANT THINGS THAT YOU NEED TO KEEP SECRET:

1 – Your deepest thoughts

What you think about certain topics should be your belief and not what you try to inculcate into others. For example, if you think about spirituality, life, or death, would bring so many reactions of diverse kinds when you choose to make them a topic for discussion. Learn how to understand that your thoughts are your interpretation and not the objective truth or you will get bad results with such arguments.

2 – Your philanthropy

Giving a helping hand to a person or any other form of charitable work is very good and contributes a lot to the development of individuals and our society. It is more valuable if you do not seek recognition for such benevolence. Normally, when you try to advertise how you have been helpful, it usually comes out to be some sort of boasting as many will have the thought that your initial intentions for such support were to seek popularity. There’s much virtue to add value to people and remain anonymous.

3 – Your goals

Your plans must be carefully guarded until you can achieve them. When you talk about such projects out loud, others can steal your ideas and work on them more effectively, dealing with loopholes you may not have noticed in your plans. A demoralizing experience like this would make you regret you made your plans known to anyone, so keep them secret. Keep them safe.

4 – Your lifestyle

Certain details about your personality, for example, your s.e.x life, religious life, overcoming a bad habit, etc. are better kept a secret unless you trust the person with whom you’re speaking. It is not worth giving your emotional conditions to everyone. It is not necessary to wait for people’s judgments.

3 – Your goals

Your plans must be carefully guarded until you can achieve them. When you talk about such projects out loud, others can steal your ideas and work on them more effectively, dealing with loopholes you may not have noticed in your plans. A demoralizing experience like this would make you regret you made your plans known to anyone, so keep them secret. Keep them safe.

4 – Your lifestyle

Certain details about your personality, for example, your s.e.x life, religious life, overcoming a bad habit, etc. are better kept a secret unless you trust the person with whom you’re speaking. It is not worth giving your emotional conditions to everyone. It is not necessary to wait for people’s judgments.

I’ve seen better days.

I’ve seen better days, but I’ve also seen worse. I don’t have everything I want, but I do have all I need. I woke up with some aches and pains, but I woke up. My life may not be perfect, but I am blessed.

10 Promises To Make To Yourself (and Keep)

Of all the promises we make, the most important ones will be the promises we make to ourselves and how we plan on keeping them. Here are 10 promises you should make to yourself today.

You probably wouldn’t dream of not keeping a promise you made to someone else. Yet you may break promises to yourself all the time. Think of all those New Year’s resolutions you made and then dropped.

Whether you planned to start exercising or losing weight or learning something new, you probably let it fall by the wayside without much though. You can not take care of anyone if you do not take care of yourself. You can start by making these 10 promises and follow each of them.

1. Listen to What Your Body and Mind Are Telling You

Your body will tell you when you need to slow down. If you have aches and pains or feel fatigued, that is usually a sign you need to take it easy. You might just need 20 minutes to talk to a friend, get some exercise in or meditate. In addition to staving off anxiety and disease, you’ll find your life transformed for the better.

2. Live Your Own Life

Too often, people end up living the lives their families or others expect instead of following their hearts. However, you can never be happy like this. You must find what you want and live your life to follow your own vision. This is one of the most important promises you can make.

3. Smile Daily

Studies show that when you smile more, you feel better. Even if you do not want to smile, it can have that effect. The smile not only helps you to have more energy and reduce your stress but also to interact with others. Keeping this promise means you will be healthier and happier.

4. Know That Relationships Come and Go

Not every relationship is meant to last forever, from best friends to people who fall in love with you, to business partners. You may feel disappointed when people leave you. However, you can rephrase this loss. Remember that everything has a beginning and an end.

When there is no time for someone in your life, that person will continue to move, but you can still keep the good memories and what you have learned from them. Promise yourself that you will do this instead of pining for the people you have lost.

5. Keep a Genuine Friend Close

Your true friends will get you through life. Yes, you’ll be doing a lot of the heavy lifting on your own. After all, you are entirely responsible for your own happiness. But, through thick and thin, it’s sweet to have a sidekick you can trust no matter what.
This is the girl who will be straightforward with you when it comes to advising on love and life. She’ll send you the most perfect memes on Monday mornings and has likely been around since day one. Make a promise to yourself that you’ll keep her close, and be the best friend you can be to her, too. After all, friendships, like relationships, should never be one-sided.

6. Acceptance of Change

When you review the above list, you might need to accept that you are going to have to make some big changes in your life. This could mean ending some relationships and facing challenges you did not expect, but the impact on your life will be incredible.

If you write all of these down in a promise journal along with your personal take on each item, you can go back to it whenever you struggle with change and remind yourself to stay on course and keep your promises to yourself.

7. Learn From Your Mistakes

Like Hannah Montana said in “Nobody is perfect”, “Everyone makes mistakes”. So in your 20s, promise yourself that you’ll stop being so scared of messing up, and learn from your failures instead. The truth is that every time one door closes, another one opens. Success takes getting knocked down seven times and then standing up eight. It’s what makes your life story so sweet, even though at the time it may feel like you’ve hit rock bottom.

You could choose to let those moments that are undeniably human completely change your course in life, or you could use them to build a foundation for something better. What’s it going to be?

8. Push Your Boundaries

Promise yourself that you will live a good life. You will never discover your hidden talents as long as follow the old familiar paths, but if you get out of that, there is no limit to what you can do. It is the people who do not recognize limits that live the most extraordinary lives, and sticking with this promise means you will be one of them.

9. Move On From the Past

You can acknowledge your past without being burdened by it. What you have learned from past experiences will always be with you and help you make a better future. Promise yourself to accept your past, integrate it into your future and never look back.

10. Cut Toxic Relationships Out Of Your Life

It is important to promise to yourself that you’ll stick to what you deserve and never settle for anything less. Doing what’s best for you may feel selfish, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s wrong. In fact, you’ll be surprised how much ditching your toxic relationships can be healthy for everyone involved. Sometimes people are meant to be in your life forever, and you’ll find that once you grow up, you tend to leave some friends behind, and it’s better that way.

Never lie.

Never lie to someone who trusts you, and never trust someone who lies to you.

7 Types Of People You Should Never Trust

Research conducted by author Brene Brown confirms what many of us feel instinctive: That we should keep our vulnerability for those who have earned our trust. These people will listen and show up with genuine support rather than judge.

In this social media–driven world, it’s the norm to share every detail of our lives. We depend on external validation when, truly, the only person who needs to validate who you are and what you do is you. Your story is yours, and you need to be mindful of who you allow into your inner world.

According to Brown, shame is the most psychologically detrimental experience any of us can endure — and shame usually stems from being vulnerable in unsafe emotional environments.

Peruse the friend types below and consider whether any of your friends fit into these categories. Once you choose to stop sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings with people like this, your confidence will grow and your insecurity will decrease. Sounds like a no-brainer, right?

1. The Gossiper

No secret is safe with the gossiper. This person is not concerned with loyalty, and friends come in and out of her life as if through a revolving door.

Key traits

  • Spilling the secrets of mutual friends
  • Only reaching out for information about major life events (yours or others)

How to deal

  • Maximize chitchat with the gossiper, and avoid emotional topics.
  • Say you’re not comfortable talking about others, or quickly change the topic to avoid discussing details

2. The Contingently Happy Friend

The contingently happy friend is only happy for you when you appear to be the underdog.

Key traits

  • This person won’t be your cheerleader when things are going smoothly, but when you’re suffering, she is the first person rushing to your side to hear your sob story.
  • She seems to be looking for a confidence boost, and may actually enjoy hearing about how badly your life is going.
  • She suffers from an inferiority complex.

How to deal

  • Don’t take it personally. This friend’s insecurities will most likely get in the way of a great friendship.
  • Be a great example of a good friend, because this person is in need of deep inner acceptance.

3. The Judgmental Friend

After hanging out with the judgmental friend, you probably feel weighed down. Your happiness seems to be offensive to her, to the point that she feels like she needs to take it from you. She sees in your growth her own stagnancy.
Key traits

  • This person doesn’t seem to be able to be happy for you, no matter what.
  • She seems to perceive your growth as an insult or affront to her.

How to deal

  • Don’t engage, or take this personally. Just walk away.

4. The Social Climber

This person invites herself to events, tries to get close to people for appearances’ sake, and will throw you under the bus at any given moment (if, and only if, it makes her look good).

Key traits

  • They are chameleons, and seem to try to fit in with whomever they’re trying to impress.
  • She seems to be turning into a carbon copy of you or someone else, and won’t acknowledge it.

How to deal

  • Don’t let her break down your boundaries, because she will — insidiously and without you realizing it.
  • Reaffirm your personal boundaries, and get comfortable saying, “No, I don’t have a plus one.”

5. The Over-Promiser

Over-Promiser has good intentions. She wants to be there for you, but she just doesn’t show up on an emotional or physical level.

Key traits

  • This person most likely doesn’t have the space to be who she wants to be, which makes it difficult to be a real friend to you.
  • If you ever talk about it, you learn that this person is carrying around excess emotional baggage that she just can’t shake.

How to deal

  • Give this person space. Let her come to you when she is ready, and don’t share anything emotionally valuable with her. By recognizing her emotional limits, you stop the cycle of being the victim of an unbalanced friendship.

6. Bad Intentions

This person is a plotter, schemer, or sabotage. For whatever reason, she actually wants to hurt you.

Key traits

  • You may not be able to identify exactly why she makes you feel so bad, but you know something is off.
  • When you try to bring it up, she makes it your fault and guilts you into dropping the conversation altogether.

How to deal

  • Stay true to your instincts, and once you realize her destructive tendencies, keep your distance.

7. The Competitor

This person has a need to constantly one-up anyone and everyone. She has an air of false self-confidence that truly stems from a need to prove herself.

Key traits

  • Anything you can do, she can do better, and she makes sure you know it.
  • She feigns appreciation for your accomplishments and then minimizes them by sharing her own.

How to deal

  • Remember, you don’t need to prove anything to anyone, and you are not responsible for providing someone else’s self-confidence — especially if it comes at the expense of your own.

Your “friends” won’t always have the best intentions for you. This doesn’t mean they’re bad people. It just means they’re human. Every one of us has our own emotional dramas playing out.

Place your friends only as close to you as they deserve — not as close as you wish they could be. And take this moment to honor and appreciate the great friends that are always there for you, and you for them.

Source: https://www.mindbodygreen.com